The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Product Description
Straightforward in its approach, yet profound in its effect, the principles outlined in this book teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman has scientifically analysed the habits of married couples and established a method of correcting the behaviour that puts thousands of marriages on the rocks. He helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr Gottman’s workshops, this is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. ‘An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent - and long-lasting - marriage’ Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional IntelligenceAmazon.com Review
According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There’s much more to a solid, “emotionally intelligent” marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out–though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts.
Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his “love lab” that it only takes five minutes for him to predict–with 91 percent accuracy–which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn’t know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.)
Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don’t resolve every problem. “Take Allan and Betty,” he writes. “When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing’s happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a ‘dialogue’ about their relationship.” While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that “they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply.”
Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. –Erica Jorgensen
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
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I bought this book as a present and received it WAY before the time to give it. I ALWAYS get good service from Amazon and have not had ONE time I’ve been displeased. GREAT SITE!!!!!
Rating: 5 / 5
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
I have been married for 13 years and have been with my spouse for 16 years and our marriage has survived her discovering she was lesbian and me facing that I was transsexual. As a happily married person (yes, we’re still married even though I am legally a woman today), an author (Chi Gung: Chinese Healing, Energy, and Natural Magick by L.V. Carnie), and a Two-Spirit Shaman, I have devoted my life since a near-death incident at the age of five to learning to pay attention to others and to help whenever I could. Today, I spend about 20 hours a day healing and sometimes even literally saving the lives of plants, animals, and people in crisis situations and even though that would seem to stress a marriage, we have found that we work as a team by using the principles I now see revealed in this wonderful book such as paying attention to the little details.
I highly suggest anybody interested in improving their marriage or preparing for marriage to read this book. Sure, I just read it now, but the very things that I have done to make my marriage successful are the things mentioned in this incredible book.
Rating: 5 / 5
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
I can’t really give any marriage book that’s secular in foundation five stars; talking about marriage absent of God is like talking about construction absent of steel or mortar. That said, this is a good book, especially if you’re comfortable throwing a bit out here and there. The nicest thing is that it challenges the (incorrect) idea that the goal and process toward good marriage is simply removing fighting and conflict. That’s a myth, and the science and experience of Gottman and Silver in this book support that.
It’s also full of lots of exercises. Some are a bit cheesy, and others are probably more than the “typical” couple will do. But several are incredibly practical, and won’t take much time. I folded down about 8 pages to refer back to, and that’s a good thing. Recommended for mature Christians who know a bit about marriage; other than that, though, there are a number of better books with a more accurate and correct Biblical foundation that would be better starting points.
Rating: 4 / 5
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
When thinking about a book to select for my assignment for my interpersonal communication class, I knew I wanted to read a book that both interests me and will help me in the long run. The Seven Principles written by John Gottman, Ph.D. mapped out tings that could make a marrige fail or on the verge of failing, these principles are things that no one would think of as problems to their marriage. But in reality most of the principles are the main problems to a marriage. I think this book is accurate to everything a couple needs to know aboutmarriage and helping it work and get through anything. Anyone can understand the way that Gottman wrote this book because he wants to be able to get through anyone and doesn’t want the couple to become more confused while trying to get through the book to help themselves. John Gottman is a very intelligent man who seems to understands the concept of marriage and how it works, the way that he incorporates it into a book is both well written because he takes each principle and breaks it down into steps and gives exercises to do and questionnaires to take to help better understand what the chapter is about and what he wants you to get from it. This book really took me by surprise; I thought it was going to be another book from some therapist who really doesn’t know what they are talking about and gives information and advice that you could have gotten from a friend. Gottman gave information that really knows one would think of because to many people the things that he discussed are not important but in reality they are the most important. Overall, this book was made to help couples get through everything that they face in a marriage without going to someone else that knows what they are talking about maybe but doens’t know the couple and allows them to work it out on thier own and to connect back with each other.
Rating: 5 / 5
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Very useful. Better than all the traditional thinking
Rating: 5 / 5
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work