Marriage Counseling Won’t Give You a Successful Marriage
When I first set up my practice to help people learn how to turn their marriage around and create a happy relationship, I was astounded by the number of people who had already been to marriage counselors and had failed. I thought my own experiences with marriage counseling were an unfortunate coincidence; my wife and I never found success with marriage counselors. Like everyone else who goes through the process of marriage counseling we were told it was our fault and we had no business being married to each other. The counselors who didn’t tell us this just wasted our time in some cases, while other counselors gave us “things to do” that eroded what little trust we had for each other.
I can vividly remember my wife and I removing ourselves from the kids long enough to share our grievances with each other while the other actively listened. It was an absolute disaster! Yet that was common practice, and from what I hear it still is. Unfortunately most things in marriage counseling have little to do with marriage and therefore won’t produce a successful marriage. The people who are licensed and trained for marriage counseling are typically Freudian therapists who follow more of a godless religion than scientific principles. Don’t waste your money and ruin your marriage by entrusting your lives to them. Now, for the record, there are some who actually help people; I have met them. But they make it very clear that their processes are spiritual, and have left Freudian psychology long ago. They are unadvertised renegades.
Creating a Fulfilling and Happy Marriage is Unconditionally Simple
Marriage was never meant to be complicated; only people complicate things. You don’t need any magic potions or fancy footwork in order to have a spectacular marriage. You only need to know how marriages are constructed and what behaviors contribute to their betterment.
Think of a marriage as a beautiful plant that slowly grows many branches with beautiful flowers. If you take care of a plant by giving it fresh water and proper fertilization it will grow and produce so much beauty that people will marvel. But if you pour gasoline into the soil around the plant after a short period of time your plant will die. It is common sense to study something about plants before you take on the responsibility of growing one. It is the same for marriage. The problem is our society has not studied marriage properly. Because of the dominance of western psychology in our society any talk about God or spirituality is considered to be in bad taste. Both man and marriage are essentially spiritual so trying to study marriage while avoiding God is like trying to study fish while avoiding water; it just doesn’t work.
Don’t give up on your marriage just because the current batch of marriage counselors has no idea what they’re doing. I’ve helped many couples and I have to believe there are others like me who are just as committed to saving marriages as I am. Marriage is awesome when you do it right and everybody’s capable of doing it right. You can definitely have a successful marriage. Don’t let your present circumstances fool you. I have worked with people whose situations appeared catastrophic yet they were all fixed up within hours; they just needed to know what to do. You can do it too.
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